Ars Amatoria

Ovid

Ovid. Ovid's Art of Love (in three Books), the Remedy of Love, the Art of Beauty, the Court of Love, the History of Love, and Amours. Dryden, John; Congreve, William; translators. New York: Calvin Blanchard, 1855.

  1. By letters, not by words, thy love begin;
  2. And ford the dangerous passage with thy pen;
  3. If to her heart thou aim'st to find the way,
  4. Extremely flatter and extremely pray.
  5. Priam by pray'rs did Hector's body gain;
  6. Nor is an angry god invok'd in vain.
  7. With promis'd gifts her early mind bewitch,
  8. For e'en the poor in promise may be rich.
  9. Vain hopes awhile her appetite will stay;
  10. 'Tis a deceitful, but commodious way.
  11. Who gives is mad ; but make her still believe
  12. 'Twill come, and that's the cheapest way to give.
  13. E'en barren lands fair promises afford,
  14. But the lean harvest cheats the starving lord.
  15. Buy not thy first employment, lest it prove
  16. Of bad example to thy future love ;
  17. But get it gratis, and she'll give thee more,
  18. For fear of losing what she gave before.
  19. The losing gamester shakes the box in vain,
  20. And bleeds, and loses on, in hopes to gain.
  21. Write then, and in thy letter, as I said,
  22. Let her with mighty promises be fed.
  23. Cydyppe by a letter was betray'd,
  24. Writ on an apple to th' unwary maid;
  25. She read herself into a marriage vow,
  26. (And every cheat in love the gods allow.)
  27. Learn eloquence, ye noble youth of Rome,-
  28. It will not only at the bar o'ercome:
  29. Sweet words the people and the senate move;
  30. But the chief end of eloquence is love.
  31. But in thy letter hide thy moving arts,
  32. Affect not to be thought a man of parts;
  33. None but vain fools to simple women preach:
  34. A learned letter oft has made a breach.
  35. In a familiar style your thoughts convey,
  36. And write such things as, present, you would say;
  37. Such words as from the heart may seem to move;
  38. 'Tis wit enough to make her think you love.
  39. If seal'd she sends it back, and will not read,
  40. Yet hope, in time, the business may succeed.
  41. In time the steer will to the yoke submit,
  42. In time the restive horse will bear the bit.
  43. E'en the hard ploughshare use will wear away,
  44. And stubborn steel in length of time decay.
  45. Water is soft and marble hard, and yet
  46. We see soft water through hard marble eat.
  47. Though late, yet Troy at length in flames expir'd;
  48. And ten years more, Penelope had tir'd.
  49. Perhaps she writes, and answers with disdain,
  50. And sharply bids you not to write again:
  51. What she requires, she fears you would accord;
  52. The jilt would not be taken at her word.
  1. Meantime, if she be carried in her chair,
  2. Approach, but do not seem to know she's there:
  3. Speak softly, to delude the standers by;
  4. Or, if aloud, then speak ambiguously.
  5. If sauntering in the portico she walk,
  6. Move slowly too, for that's a time for talk;
  7. And sometimes follow, sometimes be her guide,
  8. But when the crowds permit, go side by side.
  9. Nor in the playhouse let her sit alone,
  10. For she's the playhouse and the play in one;
  11. There thou may'st ogle, or by signs advance
  12. Thy hand, and seem to touch her hand by chance.
  13. Admire the dancer who her liking gains,
  14. And pity in the play the lover's pails ;
  15. For her sweet sake the loss of time despise,
  16. Sit while she sits, and when she rises rise.
  17. But dress not like a fop, nor curl your hair,
  18. Nor with a pumice make your body bare;
  19. Leave those effeminate and useless toys
  20. To eunuchs, who can give no solid joys.
  21. Neglect becomes a man-this Theseus found;
  22. Uncurl'd, uncomb'd, the nymphs his wishes crowned.
  23. The rough Hippolytus was Phaedra's care,
  24. And Venus thought the rude Adonis fair.
  25. Be not too finical, but yet be clean,
  26. And wear well fashioned clothes, like other men;
  27. Let not your teeth be yellow or be foul,
  28. Nor in wide shoes your feet too loosely roll.
  29. Of a black muzzle and long beard beware,
  30. And let a skilful barber cut your hair;
  31. Your nails be pick'd from dirt, and even par'd;
  32. Nor let your nasty nostrils bud with beard.
  33. Cure your unsav'ry breath; gargle your throat;
  34. And free your armpits from the ram and goat.[*](In this expression, which is Ovid's in the main, the Romans bore with an idea that perhaps the delicacy of the moderns will be offended with. The smell of a ram or goat is very rank, and from those animals the proverb came.)
  35. Dress not, in short, too little or too much;
  36. And be not wholly French nor wholly Dutch.