Vitae philosophorum

Being asked where in Greece he saw good men, he replied, Good men nowhere, but good boys at Lacedaemon. When one day he was gravely discoursing and nobody attended to him, he began whistling, and as people clustered about him, he reproached them with coming in all seriousness to hear nonsense, but slowly and contemptuously when the theme was serious. He would say that men strive in digging[*](From Epictetus iii. 15. 4 it is evident that competition in digging trenches (ἐν τῷ ἀγῶνι παρορύς σεσθαι ) formed a part of the course of preparation which athletes underwent at Olympia.) and kicking to outdo one another, but no one strives to become a good man and true. And he would wonder that the grammarians should investigate the ills of Odysseus, while they were ignorant of their own. Or that the musicians should tune the strings of the lyre, while leaving the dispositions of their own souls discordant;

that the mathematicians should gaze at the sun

He would praise those who were about to marry and refrained, those who intending to go a voyage never set sail, those who thinking to engage in politics do no such thing, those also who purposing to rear a family do not do so, and those who make ready to live with potentates, yet never come near them after all. He used to say, moreover, that we ought to stretch out our hands to our friends with the fingers open and not closed.[*](Cf. Ecclus. iv. 31 (36) μὴ ἔστω ἡ χείρ σου ἐκτετα μένη εἰς τὸ λαβεῖν καὶ ἐν τῷ ἀποδιδό ναι συνεστ αλμένη, let not thine hand be stretched out to receive, and shut when thou shouldest repay.) Menippus[*](Menagius, followed by Hübner, on the authority of Ambrosius, reads Hermippus; for among the works of Menippus enumerated by Laertius below (§ 101) there is no mention of a Sale of Diogenes.) in his Sale of Diogenes tells how, when he was captured and put up for sale, he was asked what he could do. He replied, Govern men. And he told the crier to give notice in case anybody wanted to purchase a master for himself. Having been forbidden to sit down, It makes no difference, said he, for in whatever position fishes lie, they still find purchasers.

And he said he marvelled that before we buy a jar or dish we try whether it rings true, but if it is a man are content merely to look

The boys used to get by heart many passages from poets, historians, and the writings of Diogenes himself; and he would practise them in every short cut to a good memory. In the house too he taught them to wait upon themselves, and to be content with plain fare and water to drink. He used to make them crop their hair close and to wear it unadorned, and to go lightly clad, barefoot, silent, and not looking about them in the streets. He would also take them out hunting. They on their part had a great regard for Diogenes and made requests of their parents for him. The same Eubulus relates that he grew old in the house of Xeniades, and when he died was buried by his sons. There Xeniades once asked him how he wished to be buried. To which he replied, On my face.