Institutio Oratoria

Sometimes we rebut a

charge openly, as Cicero did when he refuted the extravagant lies of Vibius Curius about his age:

Well, then,

he remarked,

in the days when you and I used to practise declamation together, you were not even born.

At other times we may rebut it by pretending to agree. Cicero, for example, when Fabia the wife of Dolabella asserted that her age was thirty, remarked,

That is true, for I have heard it for the last twenty years.

Sometimes too it is effective to add something more biting in place of the charge which is denied, as was done by Junius Bassus when Domitia the wife of Passienus [*](See VI. i. 50.) complained that by way of accusing her of meanness he had alleged that she even sold old shoes.

No,

he replied,

I never said anything of the sort. I said you bought them.

A witty travesty of defence was once produced by a Roman knight who was charged by Augustus with having squandered his patrimony.

I thought it was my own,

he answered.

As regards making light of a charge, there are two ways in which this may be done. We may throw cold water on the excessive boasted of our opponent, as was done by Gaius Caesar, [*](A cousin of the father of C. Julius Caesar.) when Pomponius displayed a wound in his face which he had received in the rebellion of Sulpicius and which he boasted he had received while fighting for Caesar:

You should never look round,

he retorted,

when you are running away.

Or we may do the same with some charge that is brought against us, as was done by Cicero when he remarked to those who reproached him for marrying Publilia, a young unwedded girl, when he was already over sixty,

Well, she will be a woman to-morrow.

Some style this type of jest consequent and, on the ground that both

jests seem to follow so naturally and inevitably, class it with the jest which Cicero levelled against Curio, who always began his speeches by asking indulgence for his youth:

You will find your exordium easier every day,

he said.

Another method of making light of a statement is to suggest a reason. Cicero employed this method against Vatinius. The latter was lame and, wishing to make it seem that his health was improved, said that he could now walk as much as two miles.

Yes,

said Cicero,

for the days are longer.

Again Augustus, when the inhabitants of Tarraco reported that a palm had sprung up on the altar dedicated to him, replied,

That shows how often you kindle fire upon it.

Cassius Severus showed his wit by transferring a charge made against himself to a different quarter. For when lie was reproached by the praetor on the ground that his advocates had insulted Lucius Varus, an Epicurean and a friend of Caesar, he replied,

I do not know who they were who insulted him, I suppose they were Stoics.

Of retorts there are a number of forms, the wittiest being that which is helped out by a certain verbal similarity, as in the retort made by Trachalus to Suelius. The latter had said,

If that is the case, you go into exile

: to which Trachalus replied,

And if it is not the case, you go back into exile.

[*]( The point is obscure; we have no key to the circumstances of the jest. )