Ars Amatoria

Ovid

Ovid. Ovid's Art of Love (in three Books), the Remedy of Love, the Art of Beauty, the Court of Love, the History of Love, and Amours. Dryden, John; Congreve, William; translators. New York: Calvin Blanchard, 1855.

I no instructions to the rich impart,
He needs not, that presents, my useless art:[*](That is, riches will do all things, and interest easily gains a woman's heart, because the sex is generally covetous.)
The giving lover's handsome, valiant, wise,
His happy fortune is above advice.
And, wanting wealth, with melting language move,
His honour storms a stubborn damsel's door;
I'm cautious to affront, because I'm poor.
With pleasing arts I court, with arts possess;
Or if I'm bounteous, 'tis in promises.
Enrag'd, I ruffl'd once Corinna's hair,
Long was I banish'd by the injur'd fair;
Long mournful nights for this consum'd alone,
Nor could my tears the furious maid atone.
Weeping, she vow'd, a suit of point I tore;
Falsely she vow'd, but I must purchase more.
Make not your guilty master's crime your own,
But by my punishment my error shun.
Indecent fury from her sight remove,
No passion let your mistress know, but love.
Yet if the haughty nymph's unkind, and coy,
Or shuns your sight; have patience, and enjoy.
By slow degrees we bend the stubborn bough;
What force resists, with art will pliant grow.
In vain we stem a torrent's rapid force,
But swim with ease, complying with its course.
By gentler arts we savage beasts reclaim,
And lions,[*](It is certain, no creature is so stately and fierce as a lion who, when he is hunted by dogs and huntsmen in the open field, seems to despise his pursuers, and flies slowly from them; but when he is in the woods, and thinks his shame may be saved by flight, he runs with great speed to avoid them. The first that ever tamed a lion, was a noble Carthaginian, whose name was Hanno; and he was condemned for that very reason: the Carthaginians not thinking their liberty could be secure, while a person lived who was able to tame so fierce an animal.) bulls, and furious tigers tame.
Fiercely Atlanta o er the forest rov'd,
Cruel and wild, and yet at last she lov'd.
Melanion long deplor'd his hopeless flame,
And weeping, in the woods pursu'd the scornful dame.
On his submissive neck her toils he wore,
And with his mistress chased the dreadful boar.
Arm'd to the woods I bid you not repair,
Nor follow over hills the savage fair:
My soft injunctions less severe you'll find,
Easy to learn, and fram'd to ev'ry mind.
Her wishes never, nor her will withstand;
Submit, you conquer; serve, and you'll command.
Her words approve, deny what she denies,
Like where she likes, and where she scorns, despise.
Laugh when she smiles; when sad, dissolve in tears;
Let ev'ry gesture sympathize with hers.
If she delights, as women will, in play,
Her stakes return, your ready losings pay.
When she's at cards, or rattling dice she throws,
Connive at cheats, and generously lose.
A smiling winner let the nymph remain,
Let your pleas'd mistress every conquest gain.
In heat, with an umbrella ready stand;
When walking, offer your officious hand.
Her trembling hands, tho' you sustain the cold.
Cherish, and to your warmer bosom hold.
Think no inferior office a disgrace,
No action that a mistress gains is base.
The hero that eluded Juno's spite,
And every monster overcame in fight;
That pass'd so many bloody labours o'er,
And well deserv'd that heav'n whose weight he bore;
Amidst Ionian damsels carding stands,
And grasps the distaff in obedient hands;[*](Speaking of Hercules, who for the love of Omphale used the distaff and basket, according to the fashion of the Ionian damsels.)
In all commands the haughty dame obeys:
And who disdains to act like Hercules?
If she's at law, be sure commend the laws;
Solicit with the judge, or plead her cause.
With patience at the assignation wait;
Early appear, attend her coming late.
Whene'er she wants a messenger, away,
And her commands with flying feet obey.
When late from supper she's returning home,
And calls her servant, as a servant come.
She for the country's air retires from towns;
You want a coach or horse, why foot it down:
Let not the sultry season of the year,
The falling snows, or constant rains deter.
Love is a warfare, and ignoble sloth
Seems equally contemptible in both:
In both are watchings, duels, anxious cares,
The soldier thus, and thus the lover fares;
With rain he's drench'd, with piercing tempests shakes,
And on the colder earth his lodging takes.
Fame says that Phoebus kept Admetus' herd,
And coarsely in an humble cottage far'd;
No servile offices the god denied:
Learn this ye lovers, and renounce your pride.

When all access is to your mistress hard,
When ev'ry door's secur'd, and window barr'd,
The roof untile, some desp'rate passage find;
You cannot be too bold to make her kind:
Oh, how she'll clasp you when the dangers o'er,
And value your deserving passion more.
Thus thro' the boisterous seas Leander mov'd,[*](This fable of Hero and Leander is as well known as any in Ovid; he treats of it in his epistles: we find it also in Musaeus's poem, and in Martial's epigrams.)
Not to possess, but show how much he lov'd.
Nor blushing think how low you condescend
To court her maids, and make each slave your friend;
Each by their names familiarly salute,
And beg them to promote your am'rous suit.
Perhaps a bribe's requir'd; your bounty show,
And from your slender fortunes part below.
A double bribe the chambermaid secures,
And when the fav'rite's gain'd, the fair is yours.
She'll add, to everything you do, a grace,
And watch the wanton hours, and time her praise.
When servants merry make, and feast, and play,[*](This has allusion to a festival celebrated at Rome by the servants, in remembrance of a great piece of service their predecessors had done the Romans, soon after the invasion of the Gauls; the time of celebrating it was in July. It was done in honour of Juno Caprotina according to Macrobius, in his Saturnalia, book i. chap. 2. The free maidens and servants, says the same author, sacrificed on that day to Juno, under a wild fig-tree, called in Latin Caprilicus, in memory of that complaisant virtue which inspired the servant maids to expose themselves to the lust and revenge of the enemy for the preservation of the public honour. For after the Gauls had taken the city, and were driven out again, when things were restored to their former order, the neighbouring nations believing the Romans were very much weakened by the late invasion, siege, and sack, took hold of that opportunity to invade them, choosing Posthumius Livius of Fidenes for their chief, and demanded of the senate, that if they would preserve their city and authority, they should send them their wives and daughters. The senators taking the matter into consideration, could not tell what answer to return. They knew their own weakness and the strength of their enemies; and in this uncertainty a servant-maid called Tutelar, or Philotis. offered to go with some other maids of the same condition to the enemy. This proposal was generally liked, and accordingly the maids were dressed like the wives of the senators, and the daughters of free citizens, and went weeping to put themselves into the hands of the invaders. Livius ordered them to be dispersed into several quarters; and, as they had agreed among themselves, they tempted their new husbands to drink, pretending that day ought to be celebrated as a festival; and when they were almost dead drunk they gave the Romans a signal from the top of a fig-tree to fall on. The latter were encamped not far off; and at this signal they assautled and easily mastered the enemy's camp. putting most of them to the sword. The senate, to reward this important service, ordered that the servants should be made free, that they should have portions paid to them out of the public treasury, and allowed them to wear the ornaments they had taken. The day on which this happy expedition was executed, was called the Caprotine nones, from the wild fig-tree Caprificus, from whence the signa was given to the Romans to sally out and gain so glorious a victory; in remembrance of which action the servants sacrificed every year under this or some other fig-tree. Plutarch relates the same story in the life of Camillus.)
Then give her something to keep holiday.
Retain them ev'ry one, the porter most,
And her who nightly guards the happy coast
I no profuse nor costly gifts commend,
But choose and time it well, whate'er you send.
Provide the product of the early year,
And let your boy the rural present bear;
Tell her 'twas fresh, and from your manor brought,
Tho' stale, and in the suburb market bought:
The first ripe cluster let your mistress eat,
With chesnut, melons, or fair peaches, treat;
Some larger fish, or choicer fowl, present;
They recommend your passion where they're sent.
'Tis with these arts the childless miser's caught,
Thus future legacies are basely bought;
But may his name with infamy be curst,
That practis'd them on love, and women first.
In tender sonnets most your flame rehearse,
But who, alas! of late are mov'd by verse?
Women a wealthy treating fool admire,
Applaud your wit,-but costly gifts require.
This is the golden age, all worship gold;
Honours are purchas'd, love and beauty sold.
Should Homer come with his harmonious train,
And not present, Homer's turn'd out again.
Some of the sex have sense, their number's small,
Most ignorant, yet vain pretenders all:
Flatter alike, smooth empty stanzas send,
They seldom sense, but sound and rhyme commend.
Should you with art compose each polish'd line,
And make her, like your numbers, all divine,
Yet she'll a treat or worthless toy prefer
To all the immortal poet's boasted care.