Ars Amatoria

Ovid

Ovid. Ovid's Art of Love (in three Books), the Remedy of Love, the Art of Beauty, the Court of Love, the History of Love, and Amours. Dryden, John; Congreve, William; translators. New York: Calvin Blanchard, 1855.

From Romulus the rise of plays began,
To his new subjects a commodious man;
Who, his unmarried soldiers to supply,
Took care the commonwealth should multiply;
Providing Sabine women for his braves,
Like a true king, to get a race of slaves.
His playhouse, not of Parian marble made,
Nor was it spread with purple sails for shade;
The stage with rushes or with leaves they strew'd;[*](This idea of the Roman theatres in their infancy, may put us in mind of our own which we read of in the old poets, in Black-friars, the Bull-and-mouth, and Barbican, not much better than the strollers at a country-fair. Yet this must be said for them: that the audience were much better treated; their fare was good, though the house was homely. Which cannot be said of the Roman infant-stage, their wit and their theatres were alike rude; and the Shakspeares and Jonsons of Rome did not appear till the stage was pompous, and the scene magnificent.)
No scenes in prospect, no machining god.
On rows of homely turf they sat to see,
Crown'd with the wreaths of ev'ry common tree.
There, while they sit in rustic majesty,
Each lover had his mistress in his eye;
And whom he saw most suiting to his mind,
For joys of matrimonial rape design'd.
Scarce could they wait the plaudit in their haste;
But ere the dances and the song were past,
The monarch gave the signal from his throne,[*](At which the soldiers were to fall on the women. The poet and his translators make an agreeable description of this rape. Some say there were thirty of these Sabines ravished: others, as Valerius Antius, make the number to be four hundred and twenty-seven: and Jubas, as Plutarch writes in the life of Romulus, swells it to six hundred.)
And rising, bade his merry men fall on.
The martial crew, like soldiers, ready press'd,
Just at the word (the word too was the best),
With joyful cries each other animate;
Some choose, and some at hazard seize their mate.
As doves from eagles, or from wolves the lambs,
So from their lawless lovers fly the dames.
Their fear was one, but not one face of fear:
Some rend the lovely tresses of the hair:
Some shriek, and some are struck with dumb despair.
Her absent mother one invokes in vain;
One stands amaz'd, not daring to complain;
The nimbler trust their feet, the slow remain.
But nought availing, all are captives led,
Trembling and blushing, to the genial bed.
She who too long resisted or denied,
The lusty lover made by force a bride,
And with superior strength compell'd her to his side,
Then sooth'd her thus! "My soul's far better part,
Cease weeping, nor afflict thy tender heart;
For what thy father to thy mother was,
That faith to thee, that solemn vow I pass !
Thus Romulus became so popular;
This was the way to thrive in peace and war;
To pay his army, and fresh whores to bring:
Who wouldn't fight for such a gracious king!
Thus love in theatres did first improve,
And theatres are still the scene of love.

Nor shun the chariots and the courser's race;
The circus is no inconvenient place.
No need is there of talking on the hands;
Nor nods, nor signs, which lovers understand.[*](It is plain by this, the ancient Romans used to make love by signs on their fingers like the modern Spaniards and Portuguese; and this talking on the fingers is very common among us ever since Dr. Holder and Dr. Wallis taught by Mr. Popham, who was born deaf and dumb, with whom I have, however, myself held a conversation of many hours, and that many hundred times, by the help of our fingers. But the poet says there was no occasion of this dumb language at the cirque; for there was so much noise, that lovers might entertain one another as they pleased, without fear of being overheard.)
But boldly next the fair your seat provide,[*](Young men are apt enough to do this of themselves, and need no advice; yet Juvenal, like Ovid, puts them in mind of it.)
Close as ye can to hers-and side by side.
Pleas'd or unpleas'd, no matter, crowding sit;
For so the laws of public shows permit.
Then find occasion to begin discourse;
Enquire whose chariot this, and whose that horse?
To whatsoever side she is inclin'd,
Suit all her inclinations to her mind;
Like what she likes, from thence your court begin.
And whom she favours, wish that he may win.
But when the statues of the deities
In chariots roll'd, appear before the prize;
When Venus comes, with deep devotion rise.
If dust be on her lap, or grains of sand,
Brush both away with your officious hand.
If none there be, yet brush that nothing thence,
And still to touch her lap make some pretence.
Touch any thing of hers, and if her train
Sweep on the ground, let it not sweep in vain;
But gently take it up and wipe it clean;
And while you wipe it, with observing eyes,
Who knows but you may see her naked thighs!
Observe who sits behind her, and beware,
Lest his encroaching knees should press the fair
Light service takes light minds, for some can tell
Of favours won by laying cushions well;
By fanning faces some their fortunes meet,
And some by laying footstools for their feet.
These overtures of love the circus gives,
Nor at the sword play less the lover thrives;
For there the son of Venus fights his prize,
And deepest wounds are oft receiv'd from eyes.
One, while the crowd their acclamations make,
Or while he bets and puts his ring to stake,
Is struck from far and feels the flying dart,
And of the spectacle is made a part.