Dialogi meretricii

Philinna Well, my dear, where is that wine?

Pamphilus (Now he has gone and done it!) Ah, Polemon, so you are back at last; are you well?

Polemon Who is this person coming to you? What, no answer? Oh, mighty fine, Pannychis! Here have I come on the wings of love—the whole way from Thermopylae in five days; and all for a woman like this! But I deserve it; I ought to be grateful; I shall not be plundered any more, that is something.

Philinna And who may you be, good sir?

Polemon Polemon, deme Stiria, tribe Pandionis; will that do for you? late colonel, now general of division, and Pannychis’s lover, so long as he supposed a mere man was good enough for her.

Philinna At present, however, sir free-lance, Pannychis is mine. She has had one talent, and will have another as soon as my cargoes are disposed of. Come along, Pannychis; the colonel can keep his colonelling for the Odrysians.

Doris She is a free woman; it is for her to say whether she will come along or not.

Pamphilus What shall I do, Dorcas?

Doris Better go in; Polemon is too angry to talk to now, and a little jealousy will only whet his appetite.

Pamphilus Well, if you think so, let us go in.

Polemon I give you both fair warning that you drink your last drink to-day; I ought to know by this time how to part soul from body. Parmenon, the Thracians. Full armour, battle array, this alley blocked. Pikemen in the centre, slingers and archers on the flanks, and the remainder in the rear.

Philinna You take us for babies, Mr. Mercenary, to judge from your appeal to our imaginations. Now I wonder whether you ever shed as much blood as runs in a cock’s veins, or ever looked on war; to stretch a point in your favour, I dare say you may have been corporal in charge of a bit of wall somewhere.

Polemon You will know ere long, when you look upon our serried ranks of glittering steel.

Philinna Oh, pack up your traps and come, by all means. I and my Tibius—I have only one man, you see—will scatter you so wide with a few stones and bricks that you shall never find one another again.

Tryphaena Well, to be sure! Get a girl to keep company with you, and then turn your back on her! Nothing but tears and groans! The wine was not good enough, I suppose, and you didn’t want a téte-d-téte dinner. Oh yes, I saw you were crying at dinner too. And now it is one continued wail like a baby’s. What is it all about, Charmides? do tell me; let me get that much out of my evening with you.

Charmides Love is killing me, Tryphaena; I can stand it no longer.

Tryphaena It is not love for me, that is clear. You would not be so cold to me, and push me away when I want to put my arms round you. It really is not fair to keep me off like this! Never mind, tell me who it is; perhaps I may help you to her; I know one ought to make oneself useful.

Charmides Oh, you two know each other quite well; she is quite a celebrity.