Dialogi meretricii

Pamphilus Oh, Dorcas, we must find some way out of it. It would be shabby to send Philostratus about his business so soon after having that talent from him; and he is a merchant, and if he keeps all his promises And on the other hand, it is a pity not to be at home to Polemon now he is come back such a great man; besides, he is so jealous; when he was poor, there was no getting on with him for it; and what will he be like now?

Doris Here he comes.

Pamphilus Oh, Dorcas, what am I to do? I shall faint; how I tremble!

Doris Why, here is Philostratus too.

Pamphilus Oh, what will become of me? oh that the earth would swallow me up!

Philinna Well, my dear, where is that wine?

Pamphilus (Now he has gone and done it!) Ah, Polemon, so you are back at last; are you well?

Polemon Who is this person coming to you? What, no answer? Oh, mighty fine, Pannychis! Here have I come on the wings of love—the whole way from Thermopylae in five days; and all for a woman like this! But I deserve it; I ought to be grateful; I shall not be plundered any more, that is something.

Philinna And who may you be, good sir?

Polemon Polemon, deme Stiria, tribe Pandionis; will that do for you? late colonel, now general of division, and Pannychis’s lover, so long as he supposed a mere man was good enough for her.

Philinna At present, however, sir free-lance, Pannychis is mine. She has had one talent, and will have another as soon as my cargoes are disposed of. Come along, Pannychis; the colonel can keep his colonelling for the Odrysians.

Doris She is a free woman; it is for her to say whether she will come along or not.

Pamphilus What shall I do, Dorcas?

Doris Better go in; Polemon is too angry to talk to now, and a little jealousy will only whet his appetite.

Pamphilus Well, if you think so, let us go in.

Polemon I give you both fair warning that you drink your last drink to-day; I ought to know by this time how to part soul from body. Parmenon, the Thracians. Full armour, battle array, this alley blocked. Pikemen in the centre, slingers and archers on the flanks, and the remainder in the rear.

Philinna You take us for babies, Mr. Mercenary, to judge from your appeal to our imaginations. Now I wonder whether you ever shed as much blood as runs in a cock’s veins, or ever looked on war; to stretch a point in your favour, I dare say you may have been corporal in charge of a bit of wall somewhere.

Polemon You will know ere long, when you look upon our serried ranks of glittering steel.

Philinna Oh, pack up your traps and come, by all means. I and my Tibius—I have only one man, you see—will scatter you so wide with a few stones and bricks that you shall never find one another again.

Tryphaena Well, to be sure! Get a girl to keep company with you, and then turn your back on her! Nothing but tears and groans! The wine was not good enough, I suppose, and you didn’t want a téte-d-téte dinner. Oh yes, I saw you were crying at dinner too. And now it is one continued wail like a baby’s. What is it all about, Charmides? do tell me; let me get that much out of my evening with you.

Charmides Love is killing me, Tryphaena; I can stand it no longer.

Tryphaena It is not love for me, that is clear. You would not be so cold to me, and push me away when I want to put my arms round you. It really is not fair to keep me off like this! Never mind, tell me who it is; perhaps I may help you to her; I know one ought to make oneself useful.

Charmides Oh, you two know each other quite well; she is quite a celebrity.

Tryphaena Name, name, Charmides!

Charmides Well then—Philematium.

Tryphaena Which? there are two of them; one in Piraeus, who has only just come there; Damyllus the governor’s son is in love with her; is it that one? or the other, the one they call The Trap?

Charmides Yes, that is she; she has caught me and got me tight, poor mouse.

Tryphaena And the tears were all for her?

Charmides Even so.

Tryphaena Is this recent? or how long has it been going on?

Charmides Oh, it is nothing new. I saw her first at the Dionysia; that makes seven months.

Tryphaena Had you a full view of her, or did you just see her face and as much as a woman of forty-five likes to show?

Charmides Oh, come! I have her word for it she will be two-and-twenty next birthday.

Tryphaena Well, which are you going to trust—her word, or your own eyes? Just take a careful look at her temples some day; that is the only place where her own hair shows; all the rest is a thick wig; but at the temples, when the dye fades a little, you can easily detect the grey. But that is nothing; insist on seeing more than her face.

Charmides Oh, but I am not favoured so far as that.

Tryphaena No, I should think not. She knows what the effect would be; why, she is all over—oh, talk of leopard-skins! And it was she made you cry like that, was it? I dare say, now, she was very cruel and scornful?

Charmides Yes, she was, dear; and such a lot of money as she has from me! Just now she wants a thousand drachmas; well, I am dependent on my father, and he is very close, and I could not very well get it; so she is at home to Moschion, and will not see me. That is why you are here; I thought it might vex her.

Tryphaena Well, I’m sure I never never would have come if I had been told what it was for—just to vex somebody else, and that somebody old coffin-ripe Philematium! I shall go away; for that matter the third cock-crow is past.