Dialogi meretricii

Hymnis How horrid, Leontichus! what disgusting frightful tales you tell about yourself! What girl would look at a man who likes such nastiness—let alone drink or sleep with him? I am going away.

Leontichus Pooh! I double your pay.

Hymnis No, nothing shall induce me to sleep with a murderer.

Leontichus Don’t be afraid, my dear. All that was in Paphlagonia. I am a man of peace now.

Hymnis No, you are unclean; the blood of the barbarian’s head on the spear has dripped over you! I embrace and kiss a man like that? the Graces forbid! he is no better than the executioner.

Leontichus I am certain you would be in love with me if you had seen me in my armour.

Hymnis I tell you it makes me sick and frightened even to hear of such things; I see the shades and ghosts of the slain; that poor officer with his head cloven! what would it be if I saw the thing done, and the blood, and the bodies lying there? I am sure I should die; I never saw a chicken killed, even.

Leontichus Such a coward, girl? so poor of heart? I thought you would like to hear it.

Hymnis Well, try the Lemnian women, or the daughters of Danaus, if you want to please with that sort of tale. I shall run home to my mother, while there is some daylight left. Come along, Grammis. Good-bye, mightiest of colonels, and murderer of however many it is!

Leontichus Stay, girl, stay. —Why, she is gone!

Chenidas Well, Leontichus, you frightened the simple little thing with your nodding plumes and your incredible exploits. I saw

Leontichus I thought it would make me more attractive. Well, but it was your fault too; you started the duel.

Chenidas Well, I had to chime in when I saw what you were bragging for. But you laid it on so thick. Pass the cutting off the wretched Paphlagonian’s head, what did you want to spike it on a spear for, and let the blood run down on you?

Leontichus That was a bit too strong, I admit; the rest was rather well put together. Well, go and persuade her to come back.

Chenidas Shall I tell her you lied to make her think you a fine fellow?

Leontichus Oh, plague upon it!

Chenidas It’s the only way. Choose—a mighty champion, and loathed, or a confessed liar, and—Hymnis?

Leontichus Bad is the best; but I say Hymnis. Go to her, then, Chenidas, and say I lied—in parts,

Dorion So, Myrtale! You ruin me first, and then close your doors on me! It was another tale when I brought you all those presents: I was your love, then; your lord, your life. But you have squeezed me dry now, and have got hold of that Bithynian merchant; so I am left to whimper on the wrong side of the door, while he, the favoured lover, enjoys your embraces, and is to become a father soon, so you tell him.

Myrtale Come, Dorion, that is too much! Ruined you, indeed! A lot you ever gave me! Let us go through the list of your presents, from the very beginning.