Dialogi deorum

Hermes Now for Phrygia. I will show the way; keep close behind me, ladies, and don’t be nervous. I know Paris well: he is a charming young man; a great gallant, and an admirable judge of beauty. Depend on it, he will make a good award.

Aphrodite I am glad to hear that; I ask for nothing better than, a just judge.—Has he a wife, Hermes, or is he a bachelor?

Hermes Not exactly a bachelor.

Aphrodite What do you mean?

Hermes I believe there is a wife, as it were; a good enough sort of girl—a native of those parts—but sadly countrified! I fancy he does not care very much about her.—Why do you ask?

Aphrodite I just wanted to know.

Athene Now, Hermes, that is not fair. No whispering with Aphrodite.

Hermes It was nothing, Athene; nothing about you. She only asked me whether Paris was a bachelor.

Athene What business is that of hers?

Hermes None that I know of. She meant nothing by the question; she just wanted to know.

Athene Well, and is he?

Hermes Why, no.

Athene And does he care for military glory? has he ambition? or is he a mere neatherd?;

Hermes I couldn’t say for certain. But he is a young man, so it is to be presumed that distinction on the field of battle is among his desires.

Aphrodite There, you see; I don’t complain; I say nothing when you whisper with her. Aphrodite is not so particular as some people.

Hermes Athene asked me almost exactly the same as you did; so don’t be cross. It will do you no harm, my answering a plain question.—

Meanwhile, we have left the stars far behind us, and are almost over Phrygia. There is Ida: I can make out the peak of Gargarum quite plainly; and if I am not mistaken, there is Paris himself.

Hera Where is he? I don’t see him.

Hermes Look over there to the left, Hera: not on the top, but down the side, by that cave where you see the herd.

Hera But I don’t see the herd.

Hermes What, don’t you see them coming out from between the rocks,—where I am pointing, look—and the man running down from the crag, and keeping them together with his staff?

Hera I see him now; if he it is.

Hermes Oh, that is Paris. But we are getting near; it is time to alight and walk. He might be frightened, if we were to descend upon him so suddenly.

Hera Yes; very well. And now that we are on the earth, you might go on ahead, Aphrodite, and show us the way. You know the country, of course, having been here so often to see Anchises; or so I have heard.

Aphrodite Your sneers are thrown away on me, Hera.

Hermes Come; I'll lead the way myself. I spent some time on Ida, while Zeus was courting Ganymede. Many is the time that I have been sent here to keep watch over the boy; and when at last the eagle came, I flew by his side, and helped him with his lovely burden. This is the very rock, if I remember; yes, Ganymede was piping to his sheep, when down swooped the eagle behind him, and tenderly, oh, so tenderly, caught him up in those talons, and with the turban in his beak bore him off, the frightened boy straining his neck the while to see his captor. I picked up his pipes—he had dropped them in his fright— and—ah! here is our umpire, close at hand. Let us accost him.—

Good-morrow, herdsman!

Paris Good-morrow, youngster. And who may you be, who come thus far afield? And these dames? They are over comely, to be wandering on the mountain-side.

Hermes ‘These dames,’ good Paris, are Hera, Athene, and Aphrodite; and I am Hermes, with a message from Zeus. Why so pale and tremulous? Compose yourself; there is nothing the matter. Zeus appoints you the judge of their beauty. ‘Because you are handsome, and wise in the things of love’ (so runs the message), ‘I leave the decision to you; and for the prize,—read the inscription on the apple.’

Paris Let me see what it is about. For THE FAIR, it says. But, my lord Hermes, how shall a mortal and a rustic like myself be judge of such unparalleled beauty? This is no sight for a herdsman’s eyes; let the fine city folk decide on such matters. As for me, I can tell you which of two goats is the fairer beast; or I can judge betwixt heifer and heifer;—’tis my trade.

But here, where all are beautiful alike, I know not how a man may leave looking at one, to look upon another. Where my eyes fall, there they fasten,—for there is beauty: I move them, and whaf do I find? more loveliness! I am fixed again,

Hermes So it is, Paris. At the same time—Zeus’s orders! There is no way out of it.

Paris Well, please point out to them, Hermes, that the losers must not be angry with me; the fault will be in my eyes only.

Hermes That is quite understood. And now to work.

Paris I must do what I can; there is no help for it. But first let me ask,—am I just to look at them as they are, or must I go into the matter thoroughly?

Hermes That is for you to decide, in virtue of your office. You have only to give your orders; it is as you think best.

Paris As I think best? Then I will be thorough.

Hermes Get ready, ladies. Now, Mr. Umpire.—I will look the other way.