Dialogi mortuorum
Lucian of Samosata
The Works of Lucian of Samosata, complete, with exceptions specified in thepreface, Vol. 1. Fowler, H. W. and Fowlere, F.G., translators. Oxford at the Clarendon Press, 1905.
Diogenes Ah, now I see! Alcmena had twins, you mean,— Heracles the son of Zeus, and Heracles the son of Amphitryon? You were really half-brothers all the time?
Heracles Fool! not so. We twain were one Heracles.
Diogenes It’s a little difficult to grasp, the two Heracleses packed into one. I suppose you must have been like a sort of Centaur, man and God all mixed together?
Heracles And are not all thus composed of two elements,—the body and the soul? What then should hinder the soul from being in Heaven, with Zeus who gave it, and the mortal part— myself—among the dead?
Diogenes Yes, yes, my esteemed son of Amphitryon,—that would be all very well if you were a body; but you see you are a
Heracles Three?
Diogenes Yes; look here. One in Heaven: one in Hades, that’s you, the phantom: and lastly the body, which by this time has returned to dust. That makes three, Can you think of a good father for number Three?
Heracles Impudent quibbler! And who art thou?
Diogenes I am Diogenes’s phantom, late of Sinope. But my original, I assure you, is not ‘among th’ immortal Gods,’ but here among dead men; where he enjoys the best of company, and snaps my fingers at Homer and all hair-splitting.