Vitae philosophorum

Diogenes Laertius

Diogenes Laertius. Hicks, R. D., editor. Cambridge, MA.: Harvard University Press; London: William Heinemann Ltd., 1925.

He carried on a regular campaign of invective against the courtesans, habituating himself to meet their abuse.

When Demetrius of Phalerum sent him loaves of bread and some wine, he reproached him, saying, Oh that the springs yielded bread as well as water! It is clear, then, that he was a water-drinker. When

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the police-inspectors found fault with him for wearing muslin, his answer was, I’ll show you that Theophrastus also wears muslin. This they would not believe: so he led them to a barber’s shop and showed them Theophrastus being shaved. At Thebes he was flogged by the master of the gymnasium—another version being that it was by Euthycrates and at Corinth; and being dragged by the heels, he called out, as if it did not affect him[*](Hom. Il. i. 591.):

Seized by the foot and dragged o’er heaven’s high threshold:

Diocles, however, says that it was by Menedemus of Eretria that he was thus dragged. For he being handsome and being thought to be intimate with Asclepiades the Phliasian, Crates slapped him on the side with a brutal taunt; whereupon Menedemus, full of indignation, dragged him along, and he declaimed as above.

Zeno of Citium in his Anecdotes relates that in a fit of heedlessness he sewed a sheepskin to his cloak. He was ugly to look at, and when performing his gymnastic exercises used to be laughed at. He was accustomed to say, raising his hands, Take heart, Crates, for it is for the good of your eyes and of the rest of your body.